Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
