I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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