I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
