I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
