Welp...herpes.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
