Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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