i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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