I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize