What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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