Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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