Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
