Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
