My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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