I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
