YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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