I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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