So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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