Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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