And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
