my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
two words: eviction party
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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