I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
