once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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