He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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