As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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