How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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