there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
