He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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