Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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