We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
