it was like his penis was on wheels.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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