there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
