this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize