trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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