Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
