so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
