In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
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The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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