I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
