Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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