I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
