BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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