that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
