Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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