I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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