remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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