I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize