so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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