its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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