I have demons in me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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