I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
