i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
