Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Drunk is a universal language darling
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
