Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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