Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
