He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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