just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
